Dallas, Texas – 2001
The following is an account of a girl who was into the rave and club scene and everything about it. Her last roll was about a month before writing this. It was the day we met her. It was a muddy, rainy, chaotic Electric Daisy Carnival in Austin. We were blowing our bubbles and she asked us to bubble her and her friend. We got talking and she told us she didn’t expect to meet anyone as cool as us.
When she found out what we were there to help the wiggin’ kids she was very intrigued and surprised that “Christians” could be cool.
My friend emailed her that night when he got home and they got talking. She asked him many questions, and listened to the answers. About two weeks prior to the event below, she acknowledged that she needed Jesus and asked Him to be her priority and her God.
Attending this rave was a harsh reality that she couldn’t close her eyes to. She told me that it was like she had new eyes, that she had seen this stuff before, but it didn’t seem prevalent. Like it was only a few people that were wiggin’.
Attending raves in the past, her goal was all about getting her own groove on. But it never affected her like that night. These kids were representations of what she had been only one short month earlier. I will never forget seeing her in the middle of a mass of kids all over the floor, in the arms of my friend, with tears streaming down her face.
“It hurts.” She said. She had to leave.
—
We got there and we just walked around for a little while and just walked around. Then I realized we appeared just like everyone else who seemed as if they were just searching….searching for what though.
They walked, some fast some slow, from room to room. Searching. There were different types of music coming at us from all directions. We walked around kind of exploring the building. There was one room we danced in for a while, and it seemed alright. People there seemed ready to dance. But it was weird because it was like I felt as if I were walking in a muddy room. Almost as if ever step was slllllooooowwwwnnnn dooooowwwwwnnn.
The good time wasn’t really there it was like it never began. Some people were dancing but mostly a lot of standing around. Standing? What were they waiting for I was wondering…c’mon, let’s dance, let’s shake our groove thangs! No one really seemed like they wanted to be there at all. Kinda all sluggish and painful. Maybe it was all the drugs…right, maybe.
We had so many people come up to us asking us if we wanted X, K, G, shrooms, acid, anything. All I could think of is the flyer for this rave that said drugs will not be tolerated. Then I remember that at the front gate they didn’t even check our bags for drugs or anything.
I know some people would think “Okay, well we need to crack down on drugs and get tighter security!” But people will find a way to get that crap in.
You can look at these kids and people my age and see the empty looks in their eyes. So much hurt, so much un-love. All of them wishing someone would just understand them. They wander from room to room searching, searching but for what?? The next thing to keep them busy, keep them numb.
I see people laying on the ground by themselves, their friends just left them there. Girls being fondled by strange guys. All of them drugged up trying to rub on each other to preserve the feeling.
The drugs only numb what has been hurt.
I see my friend giving water to a kid who can’t even mumble his own name, while the people hired by the venue, the “emergency med’s” sit around earning their wage. Their excuse…you can buy water over there at the concessions. WHAT!?!? What are they here for!? The paramedics won’t even help these people…and they are getting paid to care and won’t do it.
As the night wears on, I see more and more people gather on the floor. One of my friends calls them “e-puddles”. Packs of people sitting on the floor massaging each other. These kids, you can look at them and they can’t even see you. Their bodies scream I’M TIRED, I’M HUNGRY, I can’t hold out much longer. And their eyes still searching, you can almost hear them “I need another roll, another hit, another cap.”
I began to feel overwhelmed with all of this…like it was pounding in my head as I sat there looking all around me. All those eyes…just black…empty…and still searching for something to fill them up.
—
Have a nice day.
What do you think?
1. Were you saved out of the rave scene?
2. Did you go back?
3. Do you miss it?
“I need another roll, another hit, another cap.”
Or maybe they were just enjoying their roll? I have been to plenty of raves and the only ones who look like they are searching are the ones who don’t know anybody and go to the raves because they have a social anxiety… So they try to fit in with the scene but they aren’t really of the scene. BTW, raves aren’t about drugs, they are about music and plur. Drugs are a decision some people make and some don’t, if you ever meet someone who is truely passionate about the scene chances are they probably don’t even use drugs. At the same time, if someone wants to roll then let them roll
my suspicion is that raves are used criminally speaking to sell drugs use drugs and use drugs as a device to getting sex.
the music may also be an element because trance music is not called trance unwittingly i am still trying to discover what the real consequences of such music is if it promotes beta waves in the brain and thus is a path for hypnotism and mind control would love to have some expert comment.
to mark: If people are going to take drugs they don’t need to go to a rave to get them. If you don’t like a rave sober you aren’t going to like it on drugs, all of the drugs taken at raves- E, K, Shrooms, Acid, whatever; are just as if not more enjoyable in the comfort of your own home with some friends.
Also, E is not a sexual drug, it is a platonic love drug.
I think that the people who walk around raves and see a bunch of empty people are seeing what they want to see. They want a simple explanation, “raves are bad, they are places for lost people, they are places where people take drugs and kill themselves”. This is not the case. A rave is a place for friends.
There are empty people in the world and some of them wind up at raves, but I rave and all of the ravers I know are full of life and love and friends and plur. What is wrong with escaping reality for a while and not having to think of anything but dancing? To loose yourself in dancing and music and friends is the same as loosing yourself in prayer. Who are any of you to judge how people find comfort, find god?
What is god if not a sanctuary from the bad things of the world. What is god if not unconditional love?
raves are the friendlyest best atmospheared places on earth, you very rarely get any trouble as everyone is there to have a good time and listen to music that they like
raves aren’t like that you ignorant twat.
Wow. Well, first off.
You’re mostly right, about some of the people. The same people in what I named a couple years ago a “Cuddle Puddle” were really happy…about 5 minutes ago.
There’s an equal amount of euphoria and depression at raves, and all around they’re good. Smaller raves have alot less drugs, and alot more fun.
Raves around KC are alot “cleaner” than Cali raves for example. It’s all about who you are and where you’re at.
I’ve been in a “cuddle puddle” some guy came and gave me water, and ran around for an hour making sure I had a ride home, and he offered to take me home. I would have died there if not for him. No MD’s at this place either. Just me and three strangers passed out on this bench…
E-mail me if you want.
To start, I want to say that I am very sad for the person who wrote this article. Sad, because you didn’t have the greatest experience you could have, and sad because some people have such a hard time opening their minds. 2 years ago if you asked me what a rave was I probable would have shrugged my shoulders, and told you that I wasn’t sure but it sounded like something for “gothic” people.. a place i wouldn’t fit in… Then I met a guy who has a fantastic, very professional job. Someone who, at the time, I never would have thought to “rave” But he introduced me to the music which I dramatically fell head over heels in love with. About a year later he took me to my first Rave. I didn’t know what to expect and I was very timid… yet, open minded, and up for new experiences. -I had never experimented with any drugs before hand.- Once we got there, i was overwhelmed with with happiness, with friendly faces all excited to get to know each other… then fell in love with the scene. It wasn’t until my second show that I was introduced to any of the drugs often taken by “ravers”. I knew people were on them at the first show, but I didn’t. So at the second show, I said why not, I was explained the risks, and the effects, and I was not pressured in anyway. It didn’t make me feel lost, or empty or anything bad. It just enhanced what I already knew I felt from being sober at the first show. It just made everything fell a little bit better.. Lights Brighter, Air Tingly, it was easier for me to talk those around me without any anxiety. But I would and have gone to shows (raves) since then, sober, and had just as great of a time. I have made friends in different states that that I keep in touch with daily, that revolve around life outside of raves…. So why don’t you try not judging others just because you don’t understand. You can’t sit there and say “you do xtc because you are a scared lost soul, that needs god.” You don’t know who those people are outside of the rave scene. You don’t even know for a fact they are doing drugs. Except that just because someone else enjoys something you don’t doesn’t mean they are wrong…. i mean we don’t all enjoy the same kind of soda, weather, or tv shows.. ….
hopefully one day you can let go and truly experience PLUR.. be it with an additional substance or without.
whisp3r, thanks for the comment. There are many things I love about raves. I was a rave DJ for almost 5 years and have been to quite a few. I think I have a good idea what raves are about.
I’m glad you had a great time.
Go to raves…don’t do drugs.
i just found this website. i havent thought about my raving days in a very long time. i guess some would say that i have lost touch with that part of my personal history sometime in the process of “growing up.” i have since aquired a skill that got me this far, and am now in school. i was introduced to raves in such a seemingly natural way. i heard about them, my friends friend had an extra ticket to Airport (austin.) that was my first party. the coolest part at first was figuring out where you liked to be….the first few parties you remembered the first few people that gave you your first few rave bracelets, but then it becomes a blur of faces and feeling and thoughts- some discernable, some not. my friends and i came to partying together-as a family- each of us ventured out on our own trip, but you knew you weren’t alone becuase everyone around you was doing the same; its like being in new york city and walking the streets alone but with a million people around you.
i was sitting here talking to my good friend about a rave i had gone to in austin (if anyone was at Quantum- there was a fairy on the the flyer i thnk-hit me up! ) we had no idea what ‘Pain Purification and Suspension’ was but went to the party anyways. i dont think that cluv is still there, though. one of my girlfriends and i were there and danced and danced and completly put the pain purification and suspension out of our minds-vision. others couldnt. i knew a kid that wanted to try to see if there was a hell on new years; it was going to be his last time to trip so i guess he wanted to see what the powers were.
i heard and said my first ‘i love you’ and the wet, rainy, MUDDY, crazy Electric Daisy Carnival in austin. he was my first love, it was his first party, and we were sitting on a trash can lid, in a muddy field of people, back to back trench-style; we were together for two years after that.
so thats what happens at raves….anything-everything-nothing. i remeber one specific moment in which i was sitting along the wall at a Music Hall party and was pretty sure i had figured out the key to life. watching the people and the vibe and the action, and reaction, i had figured it ALL out. i really wish i had had a piece of paper with me.
so cheers people, to all the people who found themselves, lost themselves, and everything in between- by yourself and all together. here’s to all the long, L-O-N-G walks to yours cars-losing your ride, your ride losing their keys….the the music stuck in your mind for days!!!
cheeers!
umm…all tho many ppl go to “raves” in search for drugs..I and along with many other pll DO NOT as for i DO NOT do them…i go for the purpose of having a good time ,listening to the music i luv and beeing able to see the producers/dj i luv..
why don’t you get off your “god” complex and being judgmental toward your fellow human beings because you think you have the monopoly on god and how he/she/it should be interpreted? what if i told you that i found what you seek to describe as “GOD” at a rave and not in a book or in a church? well, thats what i’m indeed telling you.
it looks like you feel you are on a higher pedestal because you think you are saved because of your religious beliefs/faith. people have been ingesting substances to alter their consciousness longer than they have not, if you look into human history and our association with various plants and fungi.
i used to attend raves because of the positive vibes, the uplifting energies present, and because i fell in love with the music. i remember when none of my friends were into raves, much less the music, and i would make the 75 mile trek to austin from san antonio by myself many times. i went with an educated and open mind to these events and knew to be discriminate and not make an ass out of myself in public to attract attention to the scene because of my choice to imbibe certain substances for consciousness exploration. it wasn’t about the drugs, after all, after i got the “message” i hung up the receiver.
i quit doing ecstacy and lsd because i no longer had any use for it. i learned all i needed to learn and the music became my ecstacy and my acid. it still is, 15 years later. i’m a dj and producer. the message house music gave me stuck. it is a way of life for me now and has changed my life from the path of self-destruction i was on since my wonder years.
let me quote this:
In the beginning there was Jack … and Jack had a groove…And from this groove came the grooves of all grooves.And while one day viciously throwing down on his box,Jack boldly declared “Let There Be House” and House music was born.”I am you see, I am the creator and this is my houseAnd in my house there is only House Music.But I am not so selfish because once you enter my houseit then becomes our house and our House Music.And, you see, no one man owns housebecause House Music is a universal language spoken and understood by all.You see, House is a feeling that no one can understandreally unless you’re deep into the vibe of House.House is an uncontrollable desire to Jack your body.And as I told you before this is our House and our House Music.And every House you understand there is a keeper.And in this house the keeper is Jack.Now some of you might wonder who is Jack and what is it that Jack does.Jack is the one who gives you the power to Jack your body!Jack is the one who gives you the power to do the snake!Jack is the one who gives you the key to the wiggly worm!Jack is the one who learns you how to rock your body!Jack is the one that can bring nations and nations of all Jackers together under one house!You may be black, you may be white, you may be Jew or Gentile.It don’t make a difference in our house. And this is fresh!” Chuck Roberts – Chicago – 1987First appearance in ‘Our House’ by Rhythm Control (Catch a Beat rec) 1987Second appearance in ‘Can You Feel It’ by Mr Fingers (Larry Heard) 1988
some people go to church to be filled with the spirit. well, the bible says that your body is your temple, right? i choose to worship IN my temple, and so do many others. the drug is not the message and many of these kiddos will figure that out the hard way. the early to late ninetees were a little different and before the influx of idiots into this scene there weren’t so many lost zombies walking around as you put it and more people focusing on a higher goal with spiritual awareness/enlightenment or what have you and togetherness beyond all the things our senses can fool the brain into using to seperate us into categories.
there is a difference between exploring higher conscious states/spirituality and chemical hedonism, like it or not. either way, the law doesn’t discriminate and the scene will never be the way it used to be thanks to all the people who indiscriminately used drugs, had little or no respect for themselves and the movement they were a part of, and helped attract the negative attention of the media by being drugged-out idiots and making the rest of us look bad. yeah, THANKS A LOT. maybe it was just a matter of time before the thought police caught up to us and squeezed us between a rock and a hard spot.
bla bla bla! and this and that. my point should have been this:
we all come from the same source, regardless of what we prefer to believe. so why, then, is it so hard for us to not judge each other and think one religion is the closest one to what you call god? so many different paths to the divine, maybe it is YOU who is being tested by your own faith? think about it. maybe YOU are the one who is lost…like the drug addict who keeps saying “i won’t be like that guy” and eventually becomes him. to be christian means to be christ like. would jesus have judged these people you call “lost”? funny…he sought out the lost, but didn’t judge them.
-Zack
man ur first lines are exactly what my bf said.. 10 min ago he said that “at raves u find what religion promises but doesnt deliver.” its so true. raves are beautiful.
“You can look at these kids and people my age and see the empty looks in their eyes. So much hurt, so much un-love. All of them wishing someone would just understand them.”
-it is obvious that u have not been around the rave scene very long. those kids don’t have empty looks in their eyes, their eyes are just out of focus. ur just doing some deep writing. i;m sure those kids could care less about what anyone thinks about them. they can find love in just about anyone at a rave. raves are about being urself, enjoying good music and meeting new people who. some people may use drugs to fully experience the rave along w/ the visuals and sounds, not because they need something to fill them. “u shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.”
raves are filled w/ lots of good people who like having a good time. its not ur typical event.
u got it all wrong man…raves arent just about the drugs. its about the people…its like a utopia…honestly i was shocked the first time i went to a rave. not in a bad way..i was schocked that everybody was so nice. there were so many beautiful vibez.and this was before my roll started kickin in (and no i am not an etard. i have my limit)… the roll only made it even more beautiful. ever since then, i couldnt help but turn raving into a part of me. it changed my perspective on life… honestly my first rave was something theraputic. call me crazy but its true.. some people may not fully understand what the whole meaning of raves are but me and my fellow ravers do….
.peace and love.